Depression: Therapy

My experience with therapy. This should have come out last week.

Blizzard by Fauve

I don’t usually like French music, much less anything that could be called rap. But this… this made me cry. It made me feel like it was written for me personally. Here are the translated lyrics – and as usual when translating, I’ve given priority to beauty and overall meaning rather than literally translating each word as closely as possible.

You wonder if you’re a fierce beast or a saint
But you are one and the other. And many things more –
– You are infinitely many:
The one who scorns, the one who hurts, the one who loves, the one who searches.
And all the others together.
Be wrong, be reckless, not everything is fragile.
Expect nothing but from yourself, because you are sacred.
Because you are alive.
Because what’s important is not what you are, but what you have chosen to be.

Hey hey HEY what are you doing? Stop!
What the hell possessed you to do something like that?!
Why do you hurt yourself like this?
What’s wrong? Talk to me, you know you can tell me everything.
No, that’s all bullshit and you know it.
Look me in the eyes. Look at me. Fuck all that, it’s not important.
I think you’re beautiful. From the first time I saw you –
– in fact I still can’t believe it.
And what would I even do without you, anyway?
What would the universe do without you?
It’d never work. It’s impossible.
So don’t cry! Don’t cry. Because it’s gonna be alright, I promise, it’s gonna be alright.
Because we’re the ones who heal, the ones who resist, the ones who believe in miracles.
We’re not the ones who say that when the table moves, it’s because someone’s kicking it.
And one day we won’t even think of all this any more.
We’ll have forgotten it all, like it never existed.

In the meantime, put your arms around my neck if you want.
While I repeat those things that gave us wings. Do you remember?

Can you hear us, Blizzard? Can you hear us?
If you can hear us, then go fuck yourself!
You thought you’d gotten us, didn’t you?
You thought we hadn’t seen you coming?
Surprise, motherfucker!

Can you hear us, Shame, can you hear us?
If you can hear us, be careful walking home on your own at night
We might feel like rearranging your jawline with metal objects
Or washing your head out with lead, what do you say?

Can you hear us, Sadness, can you hear us?
If you can hear us, then you, too, are packing your bags
Take the first left, second right, left again and then piss off!
Congratulations! Well done!

Can you hear us, Death, can you hear us?
If you can hear us, know that we don’t fear you
You can pull whatever trick you like and we’ll keep on going, you can’t stop us
And we’ll leave noone behind, we won’t let anyone down, that’s over now!

Can you hear us, Dignity, can you hear us?
If you can hear us, know that we’ve got one knee on the ground and we’re sorry.
We’re sorry for everything we’ve done to you, but we’re gonna change!
We’re gonna become good people, you’ll see!
And one day you’ll be proud of us.

Can you hear us, Love, can you hear us?
If you can hear us, you have to come back
Because we’re ready now, we are!
We messed up but we’ve learned since then,
And now we have our hearts in our open palms
And we need you to take them, bring them with you

Can you hear us, Universe, can you hear us?
If you can hear us, wait up! We’re coming,
We want to understand everything, know everything, see everything, live everything,
We’re searching for the door to the new world
So we can dive right into it.

Can you hear us, you who are waiting, can you hear us?
If you can hear us, remember that you’re not alone. Never
So many of us are a bit weird, a bit strange
And in our heads there is a blizzard
Like those big-hearted mystical losers,
We have to raise the alarm, find each other, join together
Hug each other, with millions of hands on millions of shoulders
Repeat once more than boredom is a crime
That life is the heist of the century, a great big fucking red chili
Fuck the Blizzard,
Fuck the Blizzard.
All that’s over now.

Strong Enough – Sheryl Crow

Bear in mind that this was the thirteenth take. I was tired. But I still love this song.

The Nicest Place On The Internet

My boyfriend sent me this link, and I didn’t know what to expect at all, which I think is why it worked so well before I got used to it. So I’m not going to tell you either, because it really is the nicest place on the Internet.

Depression: How To Help

My third video on depression. This time I tell you how you can help care for a depressed person. It’s not as simple as you might think.

Reinventing Education Using Video

This is only related to any of my creative projects in that I’ve been watching the “rethinking education” playlist on TED.com while I’ve been crocheting what is hopefully going to be my very first home-made top. I recommend the whole playlist, but there are one or two videos in particular that I find very interesting, and I’ll put them up some other time.

PS – I am writing, but this scene is taking forever.